


Borderline

by vias_words



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Comfort, Depression, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Growth, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, M/M, Mania, Memories, Mental Health Issues, Song fic, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22186738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vias_words/pseuds/vias_words
Summary: Life for Albus Potter is full of highs and lows but Scorpius is always by his side to help him through.-Fic inspired by the song Borderline by Florrie
Relationships: Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69
Collections: Scorbus Song Fics





	Borderline

**Author's Note:**

> My submission for SunshineScorpius' Song Fic Collection. My song was Borderline by Florrie which I immediately fell in love with and think it fits Scorbus so well. It's a beautiful song and I highly recommend giving it a listen. 
> 
> Thanks to SunshineScorpius for putting together this collection and introducing me to this song! Hope you all enjoy.
> 
> TW: Bipolar Disorder with references to depression and mania

**_"You're beautiful and complicated too"_ **

Dating Albus Potter came with many highs and lows.

At the highest points in their relationships as best-friends-turned-boyfriends, Scorpius felt nothing but joy. Singing off-key to their favourite songs as they danced around like children alone in their dormitory. Laughing uncontrollably together while attracting stares from passing students as they doubled over, nearly in tears. And the blissful moments, curled up on the couch by the fire, legs intertwined and hands interlocked as they enjoyed each other's company in complete silence.

And kissing him--Oh Merlin, kissing Albus brought Scorpius to the highest of highs, fingers buzzing with the longing to touch his skin. Chest alive, with his heart pounding so hard against his chest he was surprised it didn't break out of its cage and fall out on the floor in front of him. Cheeks flushed with the warmth that filled him every time Albus' lips met his, Albus was hotter than any fire.

But when the highs began to take a turn, Scorpius struggled as he watched his boyfriend falling lower and lower.

**_"You hide your feelings so I won't cry  
But I'll keep waiting at the borderline"_ **

The dormitory had cleared out for the morning, their roommates all gone off to their lessons. Scorpius drummed his fingers against his leg nervously, knowing if he stayed much longer, he'd surely be told off by Professor Flitwick for being tardy. But getting in trouble wasn't his greatest worry at the moment and he'd take the risk if it meant he had a few more minutes with Albus.

"Are you sure you're not coming?" Scorpius asked one more time, his voice hardly above a whisper. Dressed in his full uniform other than his shoes, he laid across from Albus in his four-poster bed.

Albus hadn't gotten up that morning, tucked into bed wearing the same pyjamas he'd had on all of yesterday. It was the second day in a row he'd claimed to be feeling unwell and would miss lessons. Scorpius knew this was more than a common illness, although Albus tried his best to hide it.

"Mhmm," Albus's eyes remained shut, covers drawn to his chin. "You should go. You'll be late." His voice was weak, every word costing him a great deal of energy that he has such little supply of that morning.

Scorpius intertwined his hand with Albus' under the sheets, his free hand running through the tufted and displaced curls atop his boyfriend's head, "I don't want to leave you alone here."

He couldn't bear to see Albus like this, sunken into his bed, hardly moving for hours at a time. Sometimes, Scorpius managed to help him from his bed to go to the Great Hall for food, which he'd only just pick at when Scorpius was watching. Albus tried so hard not to worry Scorpius, mustering up a smile as he poked at his meals. But other times, he wouldn't even have the energy to leave the dormitory, with hardly even an appetite large enough for the small snacks Scorpius smuggled from the Great Hall.

Albus missed full days of lessons. Or, if he picked himself up enough to go, he was still hardly there mentally, slumped over with a far off look. He couldn't focus long enough to take proper notes but would brush off Scorpius' concern, claiming he was a bad notetaker in general. Scorpius would always let him borrow his own perfectly taken notes.

Every episode varied in severity. Sometimes just a few days of extra rest would do him just fine. Other times, it could take weeks for Albus to return to a fully functioning state. Scorpius always hoped for the former, hating to see the person he cherished the most suffering.

"I'll be fine," Albus nestled deeper into his pillow, muffling his voice. "I promise."

Scorpius wasn't reassured but knew Albus would only feel worse if he made Scorpius miss his lessons. At least one of them needed to be there to get the assignments.

With a sigh, Scorpius pulled himself out of Albus' bed, slipping into his shoes, and kissing Albus on the temple before heading to the door.

"You know I love you, right?" Scorpius reminded him from the doorframe.

"I know."

**_"And when you're ready to change your mind  
Then I'll be waiting at the borderline"_ **

Scorpius wished there was more he could do. When Albus entered his depressive episodes, all Scorpius could think about in lessons was getting back to check on him. Every moment outside of the classroom was spent in their dormitory. If Albus was sleeping, which he so often was, Scorpius would lay out his homework on his own bed across from him, glancing up every so often to check on him. If he was awake, Scorpius would join him on his bed and they would talk. He'd cuddle up next to him and tell him about his day, funny stories from lessons or just musings from off the top of his head. And as the hours passed, if Albus was feeling better, they'd sit across from each other playing a game of Exploding Snap while Scorpius made some jokes in hopes that Albus' smile would reemerge or he'd even get to hear his laugh again.

Hearing Albus laugh filled Scorpius with a flush of cool relief, like jumping into a pool on a hot summer's day. It was a sign that his spirits were rising. It would start with soft exhales of air, his lips slightly tweaked, growing into a titter, then a chuckle, until finally, Albus was laughing like normal again, his creases forming beside his twinkling eyes as they narrowed. His back would straighten out and his smile would widen--a true smile with light behind his eyes, not one that he would paste on his lips in an attempt to ease Scorpius' worries.

When Albus felt laughed again, Scorpius was happy. The days without Albus' laughter seemed to stretch on forever but sticking by his side for those long silent days was all worth it for the days when Scorpius' ears would be flooded with the resounding beats of his boyfriend's laughs. The smiles would make up for all the days when smiling seemed like an impossible task for Albus. It was like the blessed reemergence of the sun after a streak of cloudy days. Everything felt warm once more and Scorpius was at ease.

**_"You live your life like a firework  
You soar right up 'til you're fit to burst."_ **

Life was like a balancing act for Albus. Weeks would go by with the scales perfectly aligned, the fluctuations in his mood seeming no different than Scorpius' own. A typical teenage lifecycle of joy, stress, angst, and inspiration. Months would pass by without anything seeming off. But Scorpius could always tell when one side started to get too heavy and Albus' balance was thrown.

The first time Albus' mood had struck him as off was at the start of their fourth year back when they were only just "best friends".

"We have to get off this train," Albus had grabbed hold of Scorpius' arm with a tight grip.

With a lurch and the screech of metal wheels, the Hogwarts Express started to chug along--slowly, then gaining speed as it left Kings Cross in a cloud of steam.

"Too late," Scorpius said, not sure why Albus so urgently wanted off. "The train is moving. Hogwarts, ahoy!"

Albus didn't let up, the change only a minor inconvenience to his plan, "Then we have to get off a moving train." He started poking around the windows, trying to see if they could open wide enough to crawl out. His gaze finally traced it's way up the walls to the roof of the train where an emergency hatch could be popped open. 

Albus' eyes met Scorpius, a huge grin spreading across his face. Scorpius didn't even need to ask what he was thinking. his eyes flickering up to the hatch. His stomach started twisting into knots, trying to figure out if he was serious.

"Albus Potter, get that strange look out of your eye," Scorpius noticed a glint in the green of his eyes, a light behind them dazzling in a way he'd never seen them before. It struck him as odd but he played it off as excitement. Albus was never the most excitable of boys, so it didn't seem like an unlikely guess, as Scorpius had hardly seen Albus in a mood like that.

As Albus began explaining his plan in the form of a quiz, questioning Scorpius about the events of the Triwizard Tournament, his speech began to pick up speed just like the train. Soon, Albus had reached a rapid ramble, answering the questions himself without giving Scorpius the chance to speak. Words had never flowed from his mouth in such a tumbling, stumbling, and sliding fashion, an energy pouring out of him as if he couldn't get his sentences out fast enough to keep up with the speed of his brain.

"Okay," Scorpius finally managed to get a word in, "Whatever was holding your brain together seems to have snapped." He was unsettled by the whole idea--jumping off the moving train seemed beyond dangerous, bordering on mental.

But that didn't seem to bother Albus, as he gripped Scorpius' shoulders, staring him down with an all too serious look, "I'm going to do this, Scorpius. I need to do this. And you know as well as I do, I'll entirely mess it up if you don't come with me. Come on!"

Before Scorpius had the time to process everything, Albus had boosted himself up on a pile of luggage, fitting himself through the emergency exit that would deposit him on the roof of the train. The _moving_ train.

Scorpius hesitated. But he trusted in Albus--or perhaps he didn't trust Albus enough not to get himself hurt. Either way, Scorpius decided he had to follow. It was for Albus' own good, Scorpius justified it to himself. But he had no idea what time-bending mess he'd just gotten himself all wrapped up into.

Those next few days--or however long it seemed to last, as time had become incredibly confused with reality altering and readjusting multiples times in multiple ways--Albus had been fueled by an energy beyond Scorpius' comprehension. He hadn't known where it had suddenly sparked from or how long it would be around. He even wondered if this was just how Albus would be from now on, puberty having some weird effect on him that changed him tremendously over one summer.

But after their adventure through time and almost destroying the world as they knew it, Albus' came back down to earth. But not gently and slowly, hanging on to a parachute to catch his fall. No--Albus came down crashing, unable to pick himself up out of bed for a week.

Madame Pomfrey had put it down to an overload of stress: the acute trauma settling over him as he adjusted back to the normal world. Scorpius had felt out of it too, flinching whenever he saw a flicker of silvery hair, and still hearing the echos of screams of muggleborn students that had plagued the corridors in the alternate timeline. But Scorpius had seemed to recover far more swiftly than Albus, returning to lessons within a few days and visiting Albus in the hospital wing at every spare moment until Madame Pomfrey kicked him out at night.

When Albus felt better enough to be released, Scorpius thought it would be the end of it. They'd had their fun and caused enough trouble for one lifetime. Surely, Albus learned his lesson not to go meddling with overblown ideas of grandeur.

But it was only a few months until Scorpius had caught that look in Albus' eyes again and the cycle continued. Two years later, it didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

**_"And here I am standing on the ground  
My hands held high, I won't let you down"_**

Scorpius was always there to ground Albus. When the mania seemed to cloud his judgement, his eyes distant and speech slurred, Scorpius was the voice of reason. Albus would complain, blaming him for preventing him from fulfilling his lofty ideas--usually involving stunts that could be dangerous or all-nighters pulled in an attempt to learn a new skill or solve a world's problem. But as soon as the fog cleared in Albus' head, he'd be thankful that Scorpius had been there to talk him down.

It was never an easy task and there was only so much Scorpius could do. Sometimes Albus refused to listen, too caught up in his own fascinations. There were nights were Scorpius couldn't stop him, needing to go to sleep himself whilst Albus tossed and turned before ultimately climbing out of bed. Scorpius would find him the next morning still bounding with energy despite no sleep, sat on the floor with his cauldron out, surrounded by almost every ingredient imaginable, pyjamas stained with the remnants of failed potions as he tried to discover a new brew. But Scorpius still did his best and it felt good knowing that he could provide him with some help in a time where Albus didn't realise he needed it so badly.

Scorpius didn't mind keeping up with Albus' swings because he knew that Albus had it much harder than him. Although in his highs, Albus felt invincible, he'd suffer the consequences of bruises, exhaustion, and worst of all, the looming feeling of the lows that were sure to hit him like a train as soon as the energy wore off.

**_"And I know that you know it's not easy  
Fighting battles that live in your mind  
But you're close to the edge, I can feel it  
Every time that we say good night"_ **

"The lows are the worst part," Albus admitted to Scorpius one day. Just the week previous, Albus could hardly bring himself to pick up his laundry from the floor next to his trunk. The thought of having to get up and move around seemed to fill him with pain as if he had to lift the weight of the world up and over his head to just take a walk to the showers. "The simplest of things become such a challenge. And I feel helpless. Like I can't even do something so minor, so why am I even alive?"

"Don't say that," Scorpius felt his body filling with cold dread, "Don't ever say that." He placed his hand on Albus' giving it a tight squeeze.

Albus looked guilty for even thinking it, "I know. When I come out of it, I realise just how lucky I am. I have so much to live for." He looked up into Scorpius' eyes, "Like you."

From that point on, Scorpius knew he'd never let Albus fall that far. He couldn't fix him, that was far beyond Scorpius' control. But he could hold Albus close when his mood started to sink, reminding him of how much Scorpius needed him. He could tell Albus how important he was to him, showing him in love and gentle kisses to make sure he never felt alone. And once Albus started to feel more stable, Scorpius was filled with the satisfaction of knowing his boyfriend had made it through another episode and would keep on fighting another day.

**_"In my head, in your head, it's a little bit mixed up  
In my head it's a little bit quiet"_ **

The first time they'd kissed, Scorpius didn't know if it was real.

He wanted it so desperately to be a genuine connection, something he'd wanted for years when he realised he fostered more than platonic feelings for his best friend. But Scorpius couldn't help but be filled with the looming dread that the kiss could only be a result of Albus' hyperactive mind, taking over his body in a sudden expression of closeness that Albus wouldn't normally have felt.

It had happened the summer before their sixth year. Three weeks had passed since Scorpius last saw his best friend when they parted ways on the train platform for the school holiday. It was the first time they'd been apart since Scorpius had realised that the beating in his chest whenever Albus smiled at him and the blush the overtook his pale cheeks with the slightest touch probably wasn't a typical reaction to someone he was "just mates" with.

From that point on, Scorpius wanted Albus. He'd had crushes before--Albus' own cousin, Rose, for one--but never had one overtaken him so strongly that the three weeks without him near felt like crossing a desert with no water. Albus was his oasis.

He invited Albus over to stay the night in the Malfoy Manor. Albus burst out of the fireplace with a beaming smile, pulling Scorpius into a tight squeeze that made Scorpius' heart soar to new heights.

"I missed you!" He exclaimed.

"I missed you too," Scorpius meant it in a way he'd never meant those words before.

That night, long after Scorpius' father had gone to sleep, Albus and Scorpius had stayed up in his bedroom, talking by the flickering light of the fireplace. The whole day had been filled with non-stop chatter. After three weeks apart, they had a lot to catch up on, talking into the wee hours of the morning. Everything felt so comfortable, Scorpius' heart growing fonder by the second, not even needing the fire to keep him warm.

He'd missed the Slytherin green shade of Albus' eyes and the way they popped beneath the curtain of black fringe. The dimples that grew deeper with every grin and laugh. The way he messed with his curls absentmindedly, touseling them in a messy-yet-charming sort of way. All the quirks that made Albus just so _Albus-y_ and drove Scorpius mad for him.

"I hated being away from you for so long," Scorpius finally admitted, his eyes feeling heavy with sleep but not wanting to shut them for more than a second--a second would be too long to be away from Albus again.

"I feel like it would be a relief," Albus joked shyly, "Not having to worry about me all day."

He shook his head, "I don't mind. Really. As long as I'm with you, I'm happy."

Albus' bowed his head, a faint smile creeping across his lips. Scorpius wasn't sure if it was a blush he saw on his freckled cheeks or just the flicker of firelight.

Perhaps it was his sleep deprivation speaking for him or something about the fire setting a romantic mood, but Scorpius was overcome with the need to tell Albus his feelings. He knew everything could go so wrong in that moment but his brain was too tired to fully calculate the chances and his judgement was skewed by just how handsome Albus looked in front of him.

"Albus?"

"Mhmm?" He hummed, his eyes flickering up at Scorpius.

"Forgive me if this is weird..." Scorpius found the words slipping out of his lips without any way of stopping them. It was beyond his control now. "But I've been meaning to tell you for a while now...I like you. A lot. I think in more than just in a friendly way. And I'm sorry if that makes things awkward now but I needed to-- _umpf!_ "

Albus' lips crashed against Scorpius' shutting him up. It wasn't the most delicate of kisses and not even the most romantic but still, Scorpius' heart began to sing. Albus' hands slid up Scorpius' warmed cheeks, his thumbs caressing his sharp jawbone, pulling his face in closer. After a moment of getting adjusted, their lips were working together in a harmony that Scorpius had craved.

But in his sleep-deprived mind, a worry entered his head, starting off as a small pinprick to the back of his head that grew and grew until it was the only thought that filled his mind. It pained him to do so but Scorpius had to pull away, immediately looking at the floorboards, chewing on his lower lip that still tasted of Albus.

"S-sorry, I hope that's what you wanted," Albus apologized quickly, noticing Scorpius' change in mood. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just thought--"

"Albus," Scorpius' voice came out with a squeak. "This wasn't---isn't just some sort of...I dunno..." He flourished his hand through the air, not sure how to phrase it. He didn't want to risk insulting Albus by bringing up his shifting moods but he had to get the fear off his mind or else he'd never know for sure if the kiss meant something or not, "...A whim of yours?"

Albus' eyes widened, catching on to what Scorpius was implying. But to his relief, Albus shook his head.

"My head can get really mixed up sometimes and I've been known to act out on these wild impulses that overtake my brain. But that's not what this was. I'm here with you, Scorpius. My mind is nowhere else but here and that's the only place I want it to be." He placed his hand on Scorpius, a reassuring smile on his face, dimples and all.

Scorpius' smile grew to match, "Good because this is the only place I want to be too."

Leaning in, their lips met again, in a time that would certainly be far from the last.

_**"You hide your feelings so I won't cry**  
**But I'll keep waiting at the borderline**  
**And when you're ready to change your mind**  
**Then I'll be waiting at the borderline"** _

Their relationship stayed strong throughout the ups and the downs, Scorpius staying alongside Albus through all the highs and lows. When Albus was finally diagnosed at Saint Mungo's with Bipolar Disorder after leaving Hogwarts, Scorpius was there with him too, knowing they could overcome this obstacle just like the rest. New Potions and pills became a part of Albus' life, trying to find the right combination to make him feel balanced more of the time. And soon, Scorpius started to notice the equilibrium returning to Albus life, the happier times lasting longer than the sad and his judgement having more clear days than cloudy.

From facing bullies at school, finding their way through time, and fighting against feelings that seemed overwhelming at times, they'd emerged stronger realising that life itself was filled with just as many highs and lows. But together, they were capable of getting through.

Scorpius and Albus were capable of so much more than they knew and nothing was going to hold them back anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic went through many iterations and different phases, from Scorpius grieving Astoria to an American high school AU. I adored the song I was given and really wanted to do it justice. I knew what I wanted to say but just couldn't figure out how. I settled on focusing on Albus' mental health struggles from Scorpius' pov. I've always written Albus as someone who struggles with anxiety and some depression so I'd planned on doing that but the more I listened to the song lyrics and thought about the play material itself, I found that Albus could be someone who struggles with both mania and depression and I decided to write about him battling bipolar disorder. I did research to try and portray it accurately in just the brief snippets I showed but feel free to correct me if I made any glaring mistakes. I am always willing to learn more and adjust accordingly. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Feel free to follow me on Tumblr at vias-words or check out my other writings on Scorbus on my page. Thanks again to SunshineScorpius for this opportunity!


End file.
